The Borders Junior Confined Tennis Tournament came to a conclusion on Sunday with

the 14 and Under (U14) and 18 and Under (U18) finals day.

Playing at the Borders Tennis Centre in Galashiels, both age-groups saw the top two seeds fight it out for each of the singles titles. Three of the four number one seeds succeeded, but Lewis Armstrong of St Boswells managed to better Craig Martin (Duns) in the U18 final by winning 10-7 in the final set match tie-break, an encounter which took one-and-a-half hours.

The U14 boys’ singles match lasted even longer (an hour-and-three-quarters) with James Patterson of Melrose just getting the better of Sean Berthelsen (West Linton) 10-8 in the final set tie-break in which each boy had the chance to clinch it.

The u18 boys’ doubles saw the second seeds, Craig Martin and Harry Devlin of Duns, get their revenge on top-rated Lewis Armstrong and Andy Robertson of St Boswells in a tense two-setter, lasting almost an hour-and-a-quarter.

In total, six players reached three finals, so had a particularly busy day, but all coped well.

Excluding late entrants on the reserve lists, 132 players entered this age-groups’ tournaments and players from 13 of the district’s 15 clubs were represented. Since the start of the event on August 8, 263 matches involving 4,307 games were played at the Borders Tennis Centre.

Referee Christine Lawrie added: “The centre has proved a great addition to the tennis facilities in the Borders, despite the four lower courts needing some improvement if they are to become a performance surface.”

The referee’s thanks also went to all of the players, especially those who played through the terrible gusty/windy and wet spells on Saturday, and to the assistant referee Elspeth Whitelaw, the tournament secretary Gareth Stott, treasurer Susan Smith, Eddie Brogan, who set up the mini tennis courts, all court supervisors and umpires, “without whom the tournament could not be held”.

The tournament committee thanked the Borders Sport & Leisure Trust and the Borders Tennis Centre, Galashiels, for the use of their facilities, sponsors, patrons, all who donated raffle prizes and sold tickets, and all who contributed to or helped in the tuck shop.

The committee also congratulated all winners, runners-up and all players who entered the tournament and took part in such a competitive but sporting way.

Local rugby clubs get their new league campaigns under way with the Premiership card dominated by a series of home games this weekend.

The region’s top-flight teams will be looking to put a trio of city slickers in their place at an early stage as they battle to get a good footing on the league table.

At the Greenyards, Melrose take on Heriot’s and coach John Dalziel is hoping his team can pick themselves back up after suffering a dip in form last season.

He told The Southern: “We feel that after winning two league titles back-to-back 2010/11 and 11/12, we under-achieved last year.

“We have a fresh new squad with young players stepping up and a couple of new faces coming in. We also have a new-look coaching set-up with Robert Chrystie (backs)and Ciaran Beattie (defence) on board.

“We feel this is very much the start of a new cycle for Melrose RFC and we very much want to be up there competing for all honours at the top of the Premiership.”

Gala will be led this season by their Scotland club international scrum half George Graham, whose father and namesake will continue as head coach, assisted by Scott Nichol.

On Saturday, the Maroons welcome Currie to Netherdale for what is likely to be a hotly-contested opening tie.

Over at Mansfield Park, Hawick are looking forward to the challenge of playing top-flight rugby again when Aberdeen come to visit. None more so than the club’s president Rory Bannerman.

“There is nothing to fear and everything to gain from this season,” he said.

“Phil (Leck) and Rocky (Johnstone) have built a squad who will ‘find a way’ rather than just try to succeed and that is an excellent attitude from our fantastic young stars.”

Bolstered by their gritty performance against Melrose last weekend, Selkirk are in a confident mood ahead of their visit to Poynder Park, where they will take on Kelso in a National League derby clash.

Head coach Ally Dickson said: “I’ve been really impressed with the players’ attitude in pre-season and everyone is just raring to go.”

Also in the National League, newly-promoted Peebles are off to play newly-relegated Watsonians at Goldenacre.

Police have called for a Galashiels taxi driver to have his licence suspended after he allegedly punched a council worker.

Scottish Borders Council’s civic government licensing committee will consider the case of Jacek Zwizchlewski at tomorrow’s meeting.

In a letter to the committee from Chief Inspector Andrew Clark, it is alleged that Mr Zwizchlewski approached the council worker who was removing weeds at 4.15am on June 26 at Hawthorn Road, Galashiels.

Having asked the SBC employee to stop, which was refused, it is claimed Mr Zwizchlewski threw a broom through the worker’s lorry windscreen and punched him on the side of the head.

Mr Zwizchlewski denied the assault and vandalism of the vehicle, with enquiries ongoing into the incident, but he was charged by police with attempting to pervert the course of justice by allegedly giving a false name.

Police are also objecting to a late licence application from Istanbul takeaway in Hawick. Owner Hasan Barskanmay wishes to extend his hours, including a closing time of 2.30am on Fridays and Saturdays.

But Inspector John Scott reports that there have been 37 anti-social incidents in the locality of the takeaway within a year, as pub-goers congregate in the area.

An Australian telly cameraman and presenter were filming fishing in the Borders last week.

Kelso company Fishpal stepped in after another agency let the team down, organising salmon fishing on the Teviot on Saturday for the Tasmanian-based Hook, Line and Sinker programme’s cameraman Andrew Hart and presenter Nick Duigan.

The duo filmed fishing on the Nisbet beat on which Fishpal’s Tom Carter has a rod in a syndicate.

The Australians were kitted out with waders, rod and reels from The Gunroom in St Boswells.

And they took footage from there and at the Buccleuch Hotel in St Boswells, the Teviot Smokery, near Kelso, where they saw local produce, and other places such as The Hermitage, south of Hawick.

Mr Carter said: “They were good fun and relaxed. They are very much people who go out to enjoy fishing and if they get a fish, fantastic. They loved the Borders, they had never been here before.”

The Australians hope, on the strength of the pilot, to return next year to make a more in-depth programme on Borders fishing and the region’s history, including its cashmere mills.

“I’m looking forward to seeing what they produce and hopefully they will come back,” said Mr Carter. “They had never been to Scotland before and they didn’t know what to expect. ‘Epic hospitality’ was what they said as they left. No, they didn’t catch any fish, but that’s quite good because that means they’ll come back!” he said.

Broadcast on Saturdays, Hook, Line and Sinker attracts about 300,000 viewers.

It was the Young Master’s birthday ‘party’ this week – I use the term loosely, as it was more of a ‘day oot’ than a party – a trip to the cinema in the company of a few other seven-to-10-year-old boys.

The most important details were as follows: big bags of sweeties and popcorn, fizzy drinks and then off to sit under the golden arches for what my (grown-up) friend and I call a ‘dirty burger’. Perfect. If you’ve just turned 10.

It was during the journey to our vibrant capital city, Galashiels, that the three guests in the back seat behind me took to discussing music. No, not the recent performance of the Santa Cecilia Orchestra at The Proms, or how amazing Bruce Springsteen still sounds (and looks, ahem) at 63, but JLS. Or rather, lamenting that JLS have split.

I am half-listening, in the way that mums do, in case I have to join in at some point. For example: “The one I liked best in JLS was called Aston, wasn’t he mum?”

When suddenly, one of the voices pipes up: “My dad said that one of them is now a farmer. But I don’t know which one.”

The YM: “It wouldn’t be Aston, would it mum?”

I splutter into life: “Erm, I’m not sure, I don’t know. Erm, I didn’t know they had split.”

Which is true. I have to confess, I keep half an eye on young folks’ music/fashion/hand gestures/street talk just so I can occasionally grunt an affirmative from the front of the car. Awesome.

But the JLS thing had (not surprisingly, as I do not possess a teenage daughter) passed me by. But it got me thinking about musicians and farming.

It started with 70s rock stars buying farms – Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin (sheep), The Who’s Roger Daltrey (fish) and Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull (ditto) started the trend.

Fast forward to the 90s, and not a corkscrew perm or flared trouser leg in sight. Musicians, models and actors fled to the country for the roo-raal life, as Britpop band Blur put it: “He doesn’t drink, smoke, laugh, takes herbal baths, in the country. Says she’s come to no harm on an animal farm in the country”.

The latest raft of ‘star farmers’ are cheesemakers Alex James of Blur and actor Sean Wilson – best known as Martin Platt, husband of Gail the Gerbil – and recently Mumford & Sons singer Marcus Mumford who with actress wife Carey Mulligan have bought a 350-acre farm in Devon.

As Marcus Mumford looks and sings like a farmer (think a more sophisticated version of The Wurzels, if you are unfamiliar with their work), this last acquisition does not surprise me.

But back to JLS. It feels OK for Roger Daltrey to farm, even Alex James, because they are both older than me. But a member of JLS? Surely, they haven’t left high school yet?

Yes, I can confirm, if you were remotely interested, that JLS have split and one of them has bought not one, but two whole farms. One is in Highlandshire, and has deer on it.

And, no, the ex-JLS member isn’t Aston. I have no idea why the YM might think that Aston wouldn’t make a good farmer.

It’s JB Gill. There. Your life is richer for knowing that. Isn’t it?

Scottish Natural Heritage (SNH) published a report looking into managing conflicts between parties with different interests and views on how to manage animals and birds last week.

Officials found most conflicts are complicated and involve many factors and different viewpoints.

An SNH spokesperson said: “It’s as much about understanding people as it is about understanding the wildlife, and working with all sides is crucial to find common ground.”

The report outlines work to help reduce conflict, such as improving monitoring of certain species and building partnerships between people.

And a second phase in the next few months will see SNH and university researchers carrying out trials in well-known conflict areas, such as sea eagles and sheep farms, using the findings of the report.

Reacting to the SNH report, Scottish Gamekeepers Association chairman, Peeblesshire gamekeeper Alex Hogg, said: “The report highlights where there are conflicts. What really matters now is what gets acted upon.

“In order to cut through conflicts identified you will need a Scottish government which has the political will and strength to do what is right for wildlife, and for people, rather than side-stepping issues they deem might be unpopular with voters. The two things are separate.

“If we can move to a modern system of management which looks at the issues and conflicts as they are now and widen our scope to consider solutions which might include zoning and the responsible use of evidence-based licensing where conflicts are irresolvable, we might begin to make progress.”

And Dr Adam Smith, chairman of the Langholm Moor Demonstration PR group, noted the report talks about bringing parties together to seek shared solutions.

“That’s exactly what Langholm is about, setting aside whatever differences to see if we can have a really wonderful moor that hosts both the economic incentive – grouse – and a functioning population of birds of prey.”

He pointed to three salient elements in the 10-year project, now nearing its seventh year, to see if a grouse population sufficient for commercial shooting and the local birds of prey – mostly hen harriers – can co-exist.

Dr Smith said: “Firstly the habitat: it is improving every single year and that’s a combination of sheep management and burning.

“Secondly, we’ve got a grip on the relationship between the harriers and the grouse. We can use diversionary feeding to reduce the number of chicks the harriers feel they have to hunt: that is an effective technique at Langholm.”

But he said: “The challenge remains the fact that until this year the grouse population hasn’t really performed as well as we thought it would do.

“That’s a matter of focus of the monitoring going forward. The question is what’s limiting the grouse population?

“We are looking forward to the next two to three years to get to grips with this question of how can we get the grouse population as productive as possible and surviving as much as possible so there remains an incentive to invest in the moorland.”

A Galashiels bar, previously subjected to an alcohol sales ban, has applied for a licence extension next month.

H2O wishes to close its doors at 1am rather than midnight on September 8, 9 and 10 to accommodate freshers’ week at Heriot-Watt University’s Netherdale campus.

But Bert Robertson, of Scottish Borders Council’s licensing department, has called on licensing board members to reject the application at tomorrow’s meeting.

He said: “There have been several complaints received recently from residents in surrounding properties in regards to the excessive noise coming from the premises and this would fall under preventing public nuisance as stipulated in the licensing objectives.”

Ian Tunnah, licensing standards officer at Newtown, has requested that if the extended licence is granted, adequate stewarding should be in place, the volume levels of music played on the first floor be limited and that a personal licence holder be presented throughout the extended hours.

The licensing board barred H2O, run by Luigi and Paolo Crolla, from selling alcohol for a month in 2011 due to underage drinking concerns, but it has since banned 18th birthday parties.

The campaigner behind a 600-strong petition to introduce road safety measures around Peebles schools has rejected a council report.

The paper, produced after Helen Wallace presented her petition for improvements to Scottish Borders Council, instructs councillors meeting today to take no action.

Mrs Wallace launched the campaign after she and her toddler son were nearly involved in a serious accident at the puffin crossing near Kingsland Primary in April.

While she agrees with the report regarding Halyrude RC and Priorsford primaries, claiming bad parking is the issue behind traffic problems around both schools, she is adamant more needs done to make the A72 road near Kingsland safer. She told The Southern: “The traffic island is not safe. I watched my friend trying to take two of her children across, all on bikes, and I was scared witless for them.

“Cars were passing very close and if a lorry went past it could have knocked them off.

“The island is too small, but it is not an option for a parent to leave a child on the island while they cross, or vice-
versa.”

Mrs Wallace’s campaign began after she and two-year-old son Ruaridh were almost knocked down.

She gathered the support of Peebles Community Council, as well as Tweeddale MP David Mundell.

In the report by SBC’s Bryan Young and Phillippa Gilhooly, they say the incident was “very alarming”, but more to do with bad driving than safety shortcomings.

The authors write that the nearby public car park used by parents has been extended, a new shared cycle/pedestrian path introduced and 30mph sign erected, all after the new Kingsland school was built in February 2010.

They wrote: “We are in frequent contact with Kingsland Primary School as the volume of children cycling to school is on the increase.”

But Mrs Wallace replied: “Someone is going to die on that road – it may be a child or an elderly person.

“The council is trying to encourage children to walk or cycle to school, but it is not safe enough at that crossing.

“We want our children to be independent, but I would not want them crossing that road alone.”

Mrs Wallace also claimed 20mph signs at Hay Lodge Park have yet to be installed despite promises they would be for the start of new term.

Itook a trip to Edinburgh on Friday just to get a flavour of the International Festival, or, more properly, the Fringe.

Part of the Royal Mile is closed to traffic and given over to entertainers who each year provide an eclectic display of free performances that vary from the magical and marvellous to the bizarre and bawdy.

I witnessed men in funny dress doing amazing things with spinning tops and string under the watchful eye of the Duke of Buccleuch in statue form. And I gazed upon statues that weren’t statues, but humans doing a fantastic job of pretending to be statues.

This part of the Royal Mile, like most of Edinburgh, was thronging – almost too busy for comfort, but worth putting up with slight discomfort.

Flyers were handed out every few yards ascribed with endless quotes from reviews of previous performances. I do wonder about some of them, but never mind if it helps put bums on seats, because putting on performances at the Fringe – never mind the Festival proper – is not a cheap exercise.

I took in a 55-minute show downstairs in the Royal Oak by a comedian and poet (sorry, I left the flyer in the house and can’t recall his name) which was entitled That’s Not How You Spell Pedantic. It was fantastic. He ripped apart those who put apostrophe’s in the wrong place and those who went through life splitting continually their infinitives.

My first editor way back in 1967 had a thing about splitting infinitives. He was a true pedantic when it came to the English language and infinitives were definitely not for splitting.

I nodded regularly in agreement but, confess I must, the mystery of the infinitive and the splitting of it had somehow passed me by during my days at Galashiels Academy where I have to say English, alongside history, was one of my favourite subjects.

At TheSouthern we have an editorial rule that no first paragraph of a main story should exceed five lines – that’s about 20 to 25 words.

That first editor of mine – his name was John McMurtrie and he was a fine man who played the kirk organ and grew fine apples which I, at one time, had been known to plunder – would have struggled with the 25-word intro.

In the caseroom of the Border Telegraph there hanged for many years a galley proof of a single sentence of his – it was 165 words long.

It was studied and examined by many and found to be grammatically perfect – commas, colons, semi-colons and hyphens were all there – and every apostrophe in the correct place and not a split infinitive to be observed.

Back to Edinburgh – a truly cosmopolitan city where I met travellers from Denholm, Innerleithen and Hawick – and to a pub at the top of the Royal Mile where I was instructed, having purchased a pint, to move two feet away from the bar because there was cutlery on it which could be used as a weapon.

I queried this with the manager and was told it was because customers might spread infection upon the said cutlery.

I may have split an infinitive in my reply.

If looks could kill, Elysium is suicide. Big budget sci-fi flicks are judged against Ridley Scott’s 1982 classic, Blade Runner.

Neill Blomkamp, director of District 9, takes up the challenge and wins – the effects are stunning.

Future world cliches go like this: planet Earth has been decimated by alien invasion, irreversible pollution or civil wars.

What remains are two groups, the rich in their protective bubble and the rest, fighting for survival amongst the ruins of a wasted land.

Elysium follows the tram lines.

It is 2154 and the super-wealthy have evacuated to a satellite ring, called Elysium, where millionaire mansions and impossibly green golf courses have been replicated and every house has a health pod in which old fashioned killer diseases, like cancer, are cured in minutes.

Back on Earth, the ordinary people suffer and die without these medical aids and are controlled by cadres of ruthless robocops.

Max and Frey are orphans who grow up to become a car thief and a nurse.

Max’s ambition is to get to Elysium and Frey has a daughter dying of leukemia.

Story check: childhood sweethearts reunite as adults.

How can the sick girl be saved? The health pods.

Where? Elysium.

How to get there? Peep! Peep!! Spoiler alarm!!!

Matt Damon (Max) spends much of the time injured.

He doesn’t act so much as respond to violence.

Jodie Foster (Elysium’s defense minister) purses her lips. She’s the baddie.

Anyone could have played these parts. Star names are irrelevant.

Despite the look, the film fails to engage. Without a plot that stirs the imagination, sci-fi becomes sky pie.

To kick or not to kick, that is the question. Answer: better not.

First time around, the idea of a nerdy teenager dressing up as a flaky superhero and going out into the streets to be beaten senseless by bad guys was fun in bits. What made it work was Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), a preteen kung fu baby queen who took on the nasties and hospitalised them.

Second time around Hit Girl is grounded for more than half the film and forced to attend high school. Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has grown muscles and added to his team (Justice For Ever) a further group of wimps in costumes. Add to them Col Stars & Stripes (Jim Carrey) a born again ex-Mafia brutaliser and things take on a darker hue.

The evil one (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who calls himself an altogether unpleasant name, is another nerd in black leather with a gang of psychopaths, high on murderous intent. Suddenly it’s not funny anymore – it never was – and the film turns into a vicious, violent bloodfest.

PS: Ace Ventura, all is forgiven. Please come back.

Liberace was a showman, pianist, homosexual (denied during his lifetime) and the highest paid entertainer in the world during the Sixties and Seventies. Who remembers him now?

Steven Soderbergh’s film is based on Scott Thorson’s book about his six-year relationship with Lee, as Liberace was called by his associates. Scott was 17 when he was seduced into joining Lee’s bizarre entourage as chauffeur, companion, lover and, finally, adopted son.

Hollywood refused to support this project – too gay, apparently – and so the TV channel HBO did the honours, much to their credit. Having Michael Douglas, in remission from throat cancer, and Matt Damon, over the age of 40, as Liberace and Thorson, was a risky decision that paid off tenfold.

Choosing heterosexual movie stars to simulate camp encounters in the bedroom is intriguing enough, but for them to be so convincing was a bonus no-one could predict.

The film suffers from the claustrophobia of all showbiz biopics – when you are so famous you can’t go out, what do you do with yourself all day? – but gains from two memorable performances.

It may be slight; it may be queer; it may be glittery bittery, but it has style, darling – Rob Lowe, as a plastic surgeon, you wouldn’t believe!

Fact is stranger than fiction, they say, and The Deep is an example you won’t forget.

Gulli (Olafur Dari Olafsson) is an Icelandic fisherman, the giant of a man whose size intimidates and yet whose heart is soft.

After an accident at sea he finds himself in the freezing, wind-lashed Atlantic, miles from land. He should have died of hypothermia after 30 minutes, but stays in the water for six hours, employing an awkward breast stroke and talking to seagulls before being washed up on rocks beneath a glowering cliff face in semi-darkness.

The director uses flashbacks and home visits to ease the tension of the swim, but remains as honest as possible to the extent where Olafsson’s safety becomes as nerve jangling as Gulli’s.

The rain poured down and the wind blew, but crowds turned out to eat, drink and be merry at Southdean’s annual show.

Jennie Pole spoke a few words in memory of local farmer Jean Arres who died at the start of the week. The Lustruther field has been used for the show for many decades.

The event was opened by Rosie Scott who has lived at Southdean for much of her life, and she spoke of happy times there. The industrial section at Southdean is quirky and had an increased number of entries this year – granny’s favourite cake and thrifty jam being especially popular.

Cup winners

Most points in Gardening: Clive Bewley

Borders Organic Gardening Award: Sylvia Auld

Handmade items:Lindsay Roberts

Photography: Liz Duffell

Baking: Liz Duffell

Children’s section: Joint winners – Finlay Falconer, Ashleigh Glen and Lyall Shaw

Children’s sports: Mark Glen

Eyeores birthday: Martha and Tim

Sweets in jar: Jane Ross

Guess weight of cake: Martha Douglas

Because of livestock restrictions, Southdean can no longer host sheep classes, but the pet show is always popular and was ably judged by local celebrity blacksmith John Falla and his partner, Jackie Riddell.

Cockerel: The Duffells with Marmaduke

Big dog: Jackie Charley with Tchai

Medium dog: Carly Ferguson with Cooper

Small dog: Holly Keane with Tolina

Dog with waggiest tail: Libby Jeffrey with Bert

Groomed dog: Carly Ferguson with Maisy

Best behaved dog: Lyall Shaw with Jess

Best pet that is not a dog: Callie Ross with Rhino the Guinea pig

As the sun began to shine, children’s sports, pony rides, birds of prey and even ferrets could go ahead, and the noise and laughter of the crowd could be heard across the hills. The rural community came from miles around to enjoy themselves.

OPEN days at Soutra Aisle, the site of a medieval hospital and friary, are being held this weekend - August 24, 25 and 26 - at 2pm each day.

It lies half-a-mile along the B6368 from its junction with the A68.

The Soutra Research Project is participating in the local commemoration of the 700th anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn.

The English army left Berwick and travelled via Soutra, staying overnight, on its way to the battle. This was the standard route for English medieval invasions and used on more than 90 occasions.

The York Ebor meeting is one of the highlights of the flat season and the Ebor handicap itself is the highlight of the week for me.

A mile and six furlongs around the Knavesmire is a great test and this historic race has been won by some pretty good horses in its time. Horses such as the ever popular Sergeant Cecil, Further Flight and even the champion hurdler

Sea Pigeon, who lumped 10 stone to victory.

My idea of the winner isn’t very original but, at around the 7/1 mark, I think Sir Michael Stoute’s OPINION fits the bill perfectly. This fellow’s latest effort at Haydock was visually more impressive than his finishing position suggested and his Royal Ascot victory makes him a worthy favourite. Granted luck in running I can’t find any reason to oppose him.

I see a potential classic contender is well entered up this week, unfortunately CRISTOFORO COLOMBO has failed to live up to the classic aspirations held for him at the start of the season but he remains an exciting horse, I hope he runs at either York or Goodwood.

Selections

Saturday, August 24

York – Ebor Handicap – OPINION

Chosen engagement (York or Goodwood) – CRISTOFORO COLOMBO

The ‘healthier lifestyles’ of Borderers has seen the region come out near the top of a set of figures which give an insight into the health of residents, MSP John Lamont has said.

In the statistics, released by the Scottish Intensive Care Society Audit Group, the Borders comes second for the highest average age of people admitted to intensive care or high dependency units in hospital - 65 years old.

Mr Lamont said: “This will be in part due to the healthier lifestyles of those living in the Borders, but also of the high standard of care received from the doctors and nurses in our NHS.

“However, despite this there is still room for improvement and we all still have a responsibility to take care of our own health and well-being.

“Eating more healthily and taking part in even a small amount of exercise can make a big difference to your health, and it is important we do what we can to teach Borderers of all ages the importance of an active lifestyle.”

The Borders was second only to the Western Isles for the highest average age of admissions to such units. At 65, the Borders also came in seven years higher than Glasgow.

The figures are often used to indicate the standard of health in Scottish health board regions, with an older average age showing that people are not having to access urgent medical care until later in their lives.

The most up-to-date life expectancy figures for the Borders showed that for men aged 65 in 2010, their life expectancy was another 17.7 years, with 65-year-old women expected to live until they were almost 85.

Both statistics put the Borders among the top half of all Scottish local authority areas.

Tweeddale MP David Mundell last weekend visited an archaeological excavation of what is believed may be a Dark Age settlement in the Manor Valley.

The Scottish Dark Ages are a little-known period of history, yet were one of the most dynamic and dramatic times when the country was just beginning to be formed.

The picture shows what may be a Dark Age house beginning to emerge from its hidden past. It would have housed a family of up to 20 people.

The site is rare in that it was simply abandoned and much of it never subsequently ploughed over, so with the naked eye one can still make out the shapes of around 50 houses, yards and fields.

The research is being carried out by the Arthur Trail Association and its consultants, AOC Archaeology Group.

I’m very bad at telling jokes. I usually get the narrative right, but struggle with the punchline. So I don’t bother trying.

There is skill in delivery and pitching the right joke to the right audience at the right time and place. That is where the Lauder lads went wrong. In another context – a late-night revue – there may be space for a Jimmy Savile satire, but not in a public parade through a community. I wonder what children made of it?

My real concern is not the naivety of those on the float, but the inexplicable failure of the “committee” to recognise it might not be appropriate to mock a paedophile in these circumstances. To then award third prize compounds the error. Would a float with priests or indeed a cardinal with young boys cavorting have been OK? Of course not.

There is a fine line between entertaining and offending, and that line was crossed. It has upset victims of paedophiles that their experience was used for family entertainment. So let’s put it down to being misguided rather than malevolent.

Constituency Tour

The wee Volkswagen caravanette turned up trumps and so did the impromptu office in the back.

Tony (brother) and me whirled around this diverse constituency from the Pentlands to the Eildons.

Beautiful countryside. But you can’t eat the views and folk are feeling the financial pinch, whether at home or in business.

This so-called property boom makes me very worried. If house prices go sky high again, then those with no home have no chance to find one. Besides, where is the money coming from to take out those mortgages? Wasn’t it mad credit that got us in this recession in the first place?

I started out in a council house and saved 10 per cent deposit before the local bank manager – who actually existed, lived locally and met you face-to-face – would let me and my husband borrow. We were exasperated at the time, but he was so right.

Two things then. More council/housing association homes needed – which the Scottish Government is building, keep them recycled in the public sector by getting shot of right to buy –already done – and responsible bank lending.

David McLetchie MSP

Some people have the impression that because of opposing political views it extends to the personal. This is far from the truth.

When I learned of Conservative David Mc Letchie’s death it was with sadness and relief that the awfulness of his cancer had ended.

He loved singing and just before one Christmas, perhaps with a red wine or two to help the larynx, Margo MacDonald, me and David sang “Baby it’s cold outside”. Pre-YouTube, I hope. Ach David, I’ll miss you.

Rarely do all favourable harvest factors of good weather, high yields and high prices coincide. And, no surprise, harvest 2013 isn’t one of those years.

The weather has been fairly good in recent weeks, with occasional local thunderstorm exceptions, winter barley yields have been better than expected, but spot and futures prices have slumped because of high yield, good quality, grain crop prospects in the United States, Russia and Ukraine.

That world trade effect has negated the fact that the English winter wheat area of 1.5million hectares is the lowest in 30 years.

Much of the missing winter wheat area – missing because of impossible drilling conditions last autumn or ploughed out in despair this spring – has been replaced by spring barley in both England and Scotland.

The result will be, when the spring barley harvest gets fully under way, a glut of malting barley.

Although most of Scotland’s specialist spring barley growers now work on forward contracts, some long-term, a surplus on the open market always brings problems on final price.

As with the combination of favourable factors noted above, I don’t expect 2013 to be an exception to that marketplace rule.

Although more than one third of the English oilseed rape crop has been harvested with reports of poor to moderate yields, little has been cut yet in Northumberland or the Borders.

That also applies to spring barley in what was bound to be a late harvest year after one of the coldest, latest, springs on record.

It’s depressing that in spite of all efforts by the Health and Safety Executive, NFU Mutual, the farmers’ unions and, yes, newspaper columnists, to encourage farmers and their staff to think safety at all times, particularly during the harvest rush, at least one harvest fatality has already been reported.

No details are available, but the 39-year-old worker was killed in an accident in Aberdeenshire involving a combine.

All familiar with combines can make their own guess as to what happened, the crucial factor being that in any contest between flesh and blood and big machines with moving parts there is only going to be one winner.

That moment’s rashness, carelessness or impatience can be fatal or crippling and life-changing for your family as one more widow with a young child can now testify.

Sudden death puts the endless ramifications of the European Union’s common agricultural policy (CAP) into perspective as a life-changer.

But the recent “settlement” by bureaucrats on changes to the CAP from the beginning of 2015 will affect many farming bank accounts.

“Settlement” is in quotes because in spite of apparent agreement much of the small print still has to be argued and bargained for and if I see the phrase “the devil is in the detail” one more time I might start rolling around and biting the carpet.

On the other hand, the phrase is unfortunately correct, not least because politicians have not yet agreed a total EU budget, from whence will come CAP funds.

There’s also the question of whether Britain will hold a referendum on whether we should stay in the EU.